Mini-Rant: ATM Surfers
ATM’s are a constant source of irritation in my life.
There seems to be an inordinate amount of people that either don’t know how to use them or like them so much, they spend a ridiculous amount of time playing with them at every visit.
First, these machines are NOT difficult to use. They have a simple user interface that a monkey could be taught to master.
Enter PIN.
Select Cash.
Select Amount.
Done!
Yet, I’m constantly getting stuck behind people that stare at the ATM’s screen with a look of complete confusion on their face. What is wrong with these people? It’s in simple English! If you can’t read and understand a sentence as straightforward as “Please Enter Your PIN“, I think you’re beyond help.
And quite frankly, I’m amazed that you even have money IN your account. Surely you’re not intelligent enough to have earned it? Some kind of mental disability benefit, I assume.
Then you have the annoying bastards … mostly women, it must be said … that step up to the ATM and proceed to use every function it offers … and then some! I don’t even know what they could be doing for the amount of time they spend pissing about at the machine.
I use them to withdraw cash. This takes less than 45 seconds. But using the other functions only takes a few seconds each! What can possibly be stretching out these people’s visits to 5 or 6 minutes??
I have a theory that they have somehow become aware of an easter-egg-type hidden feature that unlocks a game of fucking Frogger or something and that they’re spending 5 minutes or more trying to avoid the traffic, jump on the logs, not get eaten by crocodiles and eventually make it to the top of the screen – presumably for a cash prize! Or maybe it’s just a simple fruit machine interface they’re unlocking. Line up the 3 cherries and get an extra fiver added to your balance!
It’s the only logical explanation.
So, they’ve checked their balance, printed a statement (which has now been casually tossed to the floor), topped up their phone, withdrawn £10, then decided they need another £20 and withdrawn that too … they’ve had a game of Frogger and a few spins on the fruit machine … and FINALLY, they remove their card and you’re thinking “Thank God! I was losing the will to live, here!”
OH, BUT THEY’RE NOT DONE!
Another 30 seconds or so of rummaging and another damn card is fished out of their purse and the whole sorry process starts again.
What, are these people trying to manage two bank accounts? If so, why?
It seems to me that, if they are, then both are insufficiently stocked with cash. Otherwise, they’d be able to withdraw that full £30 that they needed from either one and be done with the ATM in a quarter of the time …
Or maybe it’s me that’s the unreasonable one here! Maybe it’s normal to have 2, 3 or more bank accounts and I’m the freak cos I only have one! But that doesn’t change the fact that the people standing in front of me at the cashpoint had better start making an effort to be less annoying and idiotic or they’ll find themselves being chased down the road by a real car … and believe me, it’ll be a damn sight harder to avoid being squished than when they’re playing Frogger.
MisterShouty 