Social Ineptitude Part 1: Doors
What exactly is the fixed distance behind you that a person has to be in order for it to be expected that you hold a door open for them? I am confronted with this dilemma practically every day when entering and exiting the office at work. It seems to be a social convention of which everyone has been made aware, apart from me …
It’s gotten to the point that I actually speed up or slow down my approach to doors to make sure I am the right distance away from people for there to be no ambiguity at all! In my mind, if I can get through the door, and have the it fully closed of it’s own volition behind me, before the next person gets to it, I’m free of all responsibility! Otherwise, I open it and wait for them to catch up.
Of course, the problem is that I’m having to judge people’s walking speed without actually staring at them! Plus, I have to try to account for the possibility that people will speed up themselves in order to catch the door once I’ve opened it.
And there’s a whole bunch of other considerations depending on whether it’s a man or a woman following you.
If it’s a woman, how much speed might she be able to muster? You have to guage her shoe type and heel size.
Will she feel patronized or insulted if you judge it wrong and end up holding the door for 5, 6 seconds before she gets to it?
Do you look at her while she’s approaching? You have to make it clear that you’re holding it for her, but not end up gawping at her breasts …
It’s a fucking nightmare!
Most of the time, my speed-judging method means that I do hold the door for people – the action itself does not bother me (I’m not a complete social retard) – but I still often get caught in this limbo where, having judged the distance, I think I don’t need to hold the door … but then I notice the person grabbing the handle before it’s fully closed behind me, and I end up thinking that they’re thinking I’m a complete dick.
It’s possible (OK, likely) that I’m overthinking the situation and no one thinks I’m a dick for not holding the door … but that doesn’t stop me obsessing over it.
MisterShouty 