Sick Of The Sick
Today’s mini-rant is based around another irritation of office life.
There is no doubt in my mind that there are workplaces with more annoyances than an office. For example, ANY job that involes any kind of interaction with members of the general public. I can’t begin to imagine how an intelligent person could remain sane behind the counter of a shop or fast food establishment … or driving a bus or taxi … or answering phones in a call centre.
Luckily, the people in those jobs are morons, so they probably don’t notice the spirit crushing, mundane horror that is their working environment. Therefore, we still have it worse than them.
But I digress.
So far today – it’s barely past 10am – I have heard no fewer than 5 different people having full blown coughing fits, blowing their disgusting germ-ridden mucous into their handkerchief (before returning it to their pocket – how is THAT normal?) and generally making noises you’d mostly associate with a quarantined hospital ward for patients in the end stages of cholera.
Now, I’m not ranting about the noise (this time). My point today is that these people SHOULD NOT BE AT WORK.
I can’t state this strongly enough.
If you’re sick, stay at home.
There seems to be this belief amongst office workers that there is something ultimately heroic and to be respected about people that continue to work with infectious illnesses. That’s complete bullshit.
First off, you’re impressing no one by coming to the office despite your illness. MAYBE your boss will notice that you’re choking and threatening to vomit every few minutes, if only to think “Oh, one of my dime-a-dozen minions is dying. Where’s that stack of CVs I keep for times like this?”
Second, you are not indispensible. The company will not fall apart without you for a few days while you cough on family members rather than your colleagues. You may think it will, but you’re wrong. Although you massive ego probably won’t allow you to see that.
Finally, you won’t even get recognition or any kind reward for working through sickness, whether it’s the common cold or fucking lupus (not that it ever is) and if you think otherwise, you’re severely deluded.
Again, if you’re sick, stay at home.
When you bring your infected phlegm to the office, all you’re doing is passing it on to everyone else. Every office comes equipped with air conditioning. So, every infected breath you release into the air is grabbed and circulated throughout the entire building. I realize that this happens all the time anyway, before people are symptomatic and so don’t realize they’re infected. But the least you should do is just make an effort to keep it to yourself once you DO know that you’re ill!
It’s not only the air conditioning that’s the issue anymore either. In these money saving times, most companies now have “Hot Desk” policies where employees are no longer fixed to the same desk every day. So, your infected breath and germy hands get spread across several desks, all of which are used by others once you’ve moved.
Plus, good old Health & Safety Law insists that desks have fixed monitors and a separate keyboard and mouse so that people aren’t having to slouch over a laptop all day. Not forgetting the network phones that you just log into every day, routing the calls to your temporary desk. That means that your infected breath and germy hands spend all day spreading whatever nasty contagion it is that you’re carring all over a keyboard, mouse and telephone handset that someone else will be using the next day! And do you wipe everything down before you leave? Hell no.
This is NOT the way any company wants it’s employees to behave.
So, one more time – and really concentrate this time:
If you’re sick – PLEASE – STAY AT HOME!
You’re not wanted or needed, and you just hinder your company more by making others just as sick as you.
MisterShouty 