(Can’t Believe I Had To Write A Post About) Toilet Etiquette
In a world full of well adjusted, well mannered and properly raised adults, the following post would not be at all necessary. However, this world is populated with filthy, disgusting, mindless, inconsiderate cunts … and the cunts that they have spawned.
So here we go with the (in a perfect world, completely unnecessary) post on Toilet Etiquette.
First and foremost, before anything else, it should be stated outright that when you use ANY toilet, there should be absolutely no evidence that you have used it left behind when you leave!
This means streaks on the seat and in the pan, floating solids, puddles of piss on the seat and the floor, and unless the circumstances are every extenuating, odours.
It really does seem amazing that anyone should have to be told these things … and yet in my workplace, the staff toilets are always a minefield of horrific proportions. It’s not just a case of trying to find a cubicle that’s free. It’s a case of finding a cubicle that’s free and hasn’t been left in such a state that you wonder how the fucking elephant got in and out unnoticed.
At some point, I got used to the fact that men’s public toilets are the foulest, most disgusting commentary on the attitude of the general public when it comes to cleanliness, especially in a room that’s not in their own home. But I used to be naive enough to think that in general, people would share my own standards when it comes to workplace toilets that they use every day, or at least a couple of times a week.
Well, how fucking wrong I was.
People are actually perfectly happy with covering the floor of these places with spit, snot and puddles of piss. In fact, I think many actually take some weird pleasure in it. I mean, how could it possibly happen so often and in so many locations otherwise? It’s not even just the floors. The walls of toilet cubicles are always streaked with something … usually (but not always) snot.
It really says something when you see a puddle on the floor of a workplace toilet and you find yourself hoping that it’s only piss! We’re far past the point of hoping it’s just water.
Do people purposely piss on the floor? I honestly don’t understand how any other circumstances could lead to SO MUCH piss everywhere.
Another thing of which I see evidence every day – and this is just more weird than anything else – is that some people clearly like to sit in the cubicle and make a nice little stockpile of toilet paper at the side of the toilet. Are they bored and in an attempt to pass time, start absently spooling the paper off the roll until they’re done? Are they attempting to make some kind of toilet nest? Are they worried that they’re going to miss the toilet completely and do this to catch their uncontrollable waste?
None of these things make sense to me. No, they just empty the roll for no apparent reason, use a few pieces, and then leave the rest in a pile on the floor for someone else to clear up.
What the fuck is up with that!?
Where I work, the site facilities have had to actually place posters inside all of the cubicles in addition to the usual “Now Wash Your Hands” ones – another thing that really shouldn’t be necessary – and these posters are reminders that:
“It is not the responsibility of the next user to flush the toilet for you!”
Seriously? We have to “remind” these alleged intelligent, highly skilled engineers that they should flush the toilet after use? What the fuck? Do these people have the mental age of a fucking 5 year old? What am I saying? Most 5 year olds know that they have to flush the damn toilet after they use it.
These people are quite simply unthinking, inconsiderate cunts. They don’t need gentle reminders or discrete lessons on how to use a toilet. What they need is to have this foul behaviour beaten out of them like you would when taming any other feral animal.
I’ve got a feeling that this rant was only part 1 … D:
MisterShouty 