Mobile Phones: Part V
Today I’m focusing on a very specific aspect of life with a mobile phone. I’ve already spoken about the loud and obnoxious ringtones, the expectation to be active on “Social Media” 24/7, the use of phones in cinemas, and many other aspects.
But this particular aspect is one that I find extremely troubling – to the point that I have taken steps to pretty much eliminate it from my own life.
I’m talking about this unwritten “social contract” that people think is implied, that when they send you a message – be it SMS, Email, IM or one of a hundred other possible message types in today’s handsets – that you are obliged to answer within a certain timeframe.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if I receive a message of some kind and I’m free, and willing to read and respond immediately, then I will. But if I’m busy … and by that I mean, watching a movie, drinking a beer, or even sitting staring into space for no reason other than that’s what I want to do … then you will not get an answer until I’m GOOD AND READY.
In fact, if you ask me (not that you did), you are not entitled to a response AT ALL. It is one hundred percent MY decision whether I answer or not. Hell, whether I even READ your message or not. Furthermore, even if I have read your message, you shouldn’t just be assuming a response is on the way.
Yes, this behaviour is anti-social. But then, I firmly believe that your assumption of some level of control over my choice in this matter is far more objectionable than my decision to only answer when I want to answer.
I control my phone.
My phone does not control me.
Most people silence their phones at a certain time every night, in order to ensure that no notifications will disturb them as they sleep. This is only what I am doing … except I’m doing it whenever I like. I may OWN a mobile phone, but that does not mean that I am available every second of every day for your phone calls, instant messages and texts.
And email? Don’t even bother with email if you’re expecting a response within 24 hours. My phone isn’t set to automatically check for email every 10, 15, 30 minutes. No.
It looks for mail when I open the app.
Again, I control when I “receive” messages. Not my phone, not my phone’s email app, and certainly not you.
On this subject, let me also mention that if you can see that I have read a message you sent, yet several hours later, I still have not responded … it’s not because I’ve FORGOTTEN about it. It’s because I don’t WANT to respond. Copying the message and re-sending it is NOT going to elicit a response any quicker. In fact, you’re just going to piss me off further with that level of arrogance.
The whole concept of these phone apps displaying when people have read the messages you’ve sent them is something else that I find completely intrusive and objectionable. It’s turned off in every app that allows it on my phone. People don’t need to know what I’ve read and whether I’m typing a response. I’m perfectly within my rights to delete your message, unread, if such a whim should take me.
Like I say, I have taken steps to eliminate this shitty aspect of mobile phone ownership from my life. I completely silence (including vibration!) my phone whenever I feel like it. I read messages when I decide to read them, not necessarily when they arrive, I’ve disabled automatic updates for email and I’ve turned off “read receipts” wherever possible.
Most importantly though, I’ve told the people that message me in the middle of the night, expecting fast answers, or send duplicate messages because I’ve not answered them as quickly as they deemed they SHOULD be, that:
I CONTROL MY PHONE!
MY PHONE DOES NOT CONTROL ME!
Briefly hearkening back to one of my earliest posts on this blog, I reserve the right to be anti-social at any given time, on any given day. Just because YOU want my attention, there is no guarantee that I am constantly willing to give it.
It is my unequivocal right as a human being to be an utter cunt if I want to be. These people that message me at 1am should understand that, as that very act itself only exposes THEM as utter cunts as well.
MisterShouty 