MisterShouty

Today at MisterShouty, it’s time to return to that special circle of hell that is Mobile Phones.

You’re welcome.

I recently went on holiday for the first time following the implementation of mobile phone carriers’ new policy of Free Roaming within a bunch of countries. This essentially means that you can use your mobile phone for calls, texts and data at no extra charge, just as if you were at home.

I’m sure you’re thinking “That’s great! How can that possibly be an issue for anyone?” Well, let me educate you.

Going on holiday used to be the very last opportunity to escape the ever-present noise pollution caused by the general public in every public place imaginable. You could arrive in Spain and hear almost no mobile phone bullshit for 2 weeks and it was just awesome.

But not now.

Arriving in your holiday location is now just the same as when you fly home. Five seconds after the plane lands, the air is filled with the sound of mobile phones booting up and dozens of notification beeps as everyone’s phones tell that that “HEY! You’re in a different country! But never fear! It costs nothing extra here now! Why not tell Facebook that you’re in Spain? RIGHT NOW! May as well! IT’S FREE!”

But it’s not only the irritation just after landing, no. The constant obsessive use of mobile phones now continues throughout the entire holiday, as assholes everywhere fill the once-quiet Spanish air with “HELLO? HELLOOOO!? CAN YOU HEAR ME? WHAT ABOUT NOW?”

I literally experienced a woman (who frankly, was old enough to know better), sat in a restaurant at 10am, trying to establish a Facetime call with someone in the UK for a SOLID 10 minutes. Shouting at her phone as though speaking louder will compensate for the fact that her data connection is throttled to prevent such excessive use of the foreign network.

Eventually, a couple of the other assholes in the immediate area must have put their phones away for a few seconds, and this woman’s videocall was connected, and then we were all treated to the annoyance of her phone, on speaker, volume set to MAX, while she had the dullest conversation you ever heard, and she struggled to hear the other person’s responses over the constant wailing and screaming of what sounded like about 20 small children in the background.

How can anyone think that this behaviour is acceptible?
I know it’s not just me.

And yet, so many people in the restaurant at the time were barely acknowledging that this annoying bitch was making unreasonable amounts of noise, disturbing everyone’s attempt at an enjoyable breakfast.

Are we really so far down the narcissistic sink-hole that, even when on holiday, we can’t go five minutes without calling, texting, Facebooking and Instagramming inane bullshit back across the ocean?

Is the average member of the general public really convinced that there is no point in having a good time unless you are able to boast about it, real-time via social media?

How fucking sad. The crushing irony of the whole situation seems completely lost on these people. The constant reassurance and validation that they physically crave in the form of social media views and likes, generated by their publishing of snapshots of their life, is actually making it impossible for them to HAVE a fucking life.

I can’t express strongly enough how much I hate what the mobile phone has come to represent. It’s barely even a phone any more. It’s just a device that provides access to websites that trigger dopamine production in the user’s brain. Nothing more.

I have incredible difficulty deciding whether my feelings of hate for these people are more or less than how much I feel sorry for them, in their drugged-up stupor … shambling, zombie-like from one Instagram-worthy moment to the next, with absolutely no idea of what it’s like to enjoy a moment of life for what it is.

Everything is an opportunity for that dopamine hit.

“Like me! Like me! Validate me! Tell me I’m worthy of something!”

Fucking sad acts, every one of them.

~ by mistershouty on November 15, 2018.

Posted in Consumer, General Misery, Media Hype, People Skills, Web
Tags: dopamine, facebook, holidays, instagram, mobile phones, phone calls, phones, roaming, social media