MisterShouty

Having ranted tirelessly on the subject of the annoyance of mobile phones in my life, I came to realize that my first post had merely scratched the surface of the insufferable and detremental effect this device has on me on a daily basis. So, the need to vent once more rises to fever pitch …

Not only do people make ridiculous amounts of noise with their mobile phones in normal public places, but they also cause huge amounts of annoyance by using their phones during events in which you are specifically requested to switch them off. Movie theatres is the classic example of this. The management go out of their way to request that all phones are switched off, specifically to respect the people with which you will be sharing the theatre. Yet, still we are surrounded by those that either think the rules do not apply to them, or simply don’t give a shit about ruining the experience of the other patrons.

I don’t think anyone would argue that people actually answering their phones and holding conversations during the movie is acceptible … but people do! It’s this level of inconsiderate behaviour that, in my mind, warrants punishment along the lines of public beatings. These arseholes have absolutely no respect for anyone else. They’re lost in their own tiny little world where nobody matters but them. They don’t deserve even basic human rights.

Then you have the people that fully accept the rule about phone calls but seem to think that the use of every other function on their phone is perfectly reasonable in the movie theatre! In a darkened room, where people behind them are attempting to enjoy the movie, they sit with their phones illuminating their face as they text, tweet and fuck about with anything they can.

If you don’t want to watch the fucking film, GET OUT OF THE THEATRE.

It’s so gawling that it doesn’t even occur to them that they are ruining the film for the people around them. They simply don’t give a shit. Again, the only answer is public humiliation.

The same goes for the use of phones at any other event at which people are attempting to enjoy the show. Comedy shows, concerts, theatres, anything.

Sit down, shut up and enjoy the show or GET THE FUCK OUT.

Another use of mobile phones that is not just inappropriate but dangerous AND illegal is while driving. People are fully aware of the danger of talking on the phone whilst driving, but they still seem to do so whenever they feel like it. Must be another rule that just doesn’t apply to them, right?

Frankly, I couldn’t care less if you die in a ten-car pile up caused by your lack of attention to the road. But if I’m in the car as well, it becomes my business. I will not stand for this unnecessary risk.

And this, again is only the tip of the iceberg … I know people that attempt to compose text messages, emails, facebook updates and tweets while driving. Well, I say “know”. They don’t do it while I’m in the car any more. Not if they want their phone to remain in one piece. I used to threaten to remove the battery … but as so many people have an iPhone these days, I just threaten to throw the fucking thing out of the window. They get the message.

On the subject of receiving messages, exactly when will people get to the point where they realize that receiving notifications every 30 seconds all day, every day is just TOO FUCKING MUCH TO HANDLE?

Seriously, between text messages, emails, facebook, twitter, instant messages, application messages and Christ knows what else, some people’s handsets are beeping and flashing none stop from dawn to dusk. Literally every few seconds. Being with these people is enough to drive a person insane … because they HAVE to check every message! You never know! It might be important!

In my opinion, the number of notifications a person receives is inversely proportional to the amount of actual social skill they posess. The social retards that have notifications streaming in every second of every day need serious help. Preferably from someone with a shotgun.

Moving slightly away from the social retards, email notifications on mobile phones are something that always piss me off. People simply do not communicate via email anymore. The service is only needed for confirmation of online orders and the exchange of documents. Email notifications on your phone are completely unnecessary. All you’re doing is providing spammers with a way of annoying you several times throughout the day rather than just once when you check your mail in the evening!

Texts, emails and tweets aside, the mobile phone is still the most obnoxious, rude device ever created. Receiving a phone call is exactly like someone standing in front of you, shouting “TALK TO ME! TALK TO ME!” and prodding you in the chest every two seconds until you speak to them. But it’s so difficult to get this point across. You tell someone that you didn’t get their text, didn’t receive their call and didn’t hear their voicemail because your phone was off – because you simply didn’t want to be disturbed and they look at you like you’ve strolled into their house and shit on their kitchen table!

We cannot allow privacy and the ability to be left alone to become a thing of the past!

You may think that the fact that you have my number in your phone gives you the right to invade my life at any time. You may have cultivated the elevated sense of self importance that phones give some mentally challenged people, but I refuse to be bullied into being at your beck and call 24 hours a day, every day. If you’re so desperate for attention, get yourself a gerbil, or a dog, or a prostitute! I don’t care! Just get out of my damn face.

Next up, the cheap bastards that use prepaid sim cards and attempt to make their own money last for as long as they can by forcing other people spend theirs! Cheeky fuckers that “one-tone” you when they want to speak to you – ring your phone for a couple of seconds and hang up, making YOU call THEM back. Who do they think they are? Why should I be paying for the call YOU want to make? Go Fuck Yourself!

These same people whinge and complain if you don’t send a response to their every text – even if it’s just an “OK” … and yet they’re the worst offenders for not responding!

Yeah, I got your message, but wanted to save my credit!

Get a real contract! What are you, 12?

Even now, there are aspects of mobile phone use that I’ve not covered … it’s an incredibly invasive device that has turned just about everyone I know into a dribbing, irritating idiot. Here’s hoping that sooner rather than later, this obsession that has been fed by the onslaught of apps and social networking sites will diminish and we will be able to live like civilized human beings again.

Although somehow, I can’t see it.

~ by mistershouty on October 22, 2010.

Posted in Consumer, General Misery, People Skills