Adverts – Part 2
The next item on my list of advert grievances concerns the actual content of adverts and the cynical way in which they are constructed. Many years ago, it was decided that the use of actual subliminal messages in adverts should be made illegal. However, there are many different ways in which the viewer can be manipulated subliminally that do not invole the ONE method that was outlawed.
Subliminal cuts cannot be used – the flashing of an image so briefly in the advert that you do not consciously see it … the classic example being in cinemas, where subliminal images of drinks and popcorn were placed in the previews, allegedly prompting people to go out and buy more. Test data suggested that it DID work – and it led to the method being banned.
So, the makers of modern adverts are much more subtle in their use of subliminal messages.
Have you ever noticed that in every advert for bread, the actor is ALWAYS a child? Is it because children like sandwiches more than adults? No! It’s because their hands are smaller and make the bread look bigger. When you point this out, people very often argue that no one would fall for such a trick. That you can clearly SEE it’s a child, so the ad isn’t even TRYING to trick you. Well, that is not the case. Children have been used in adverts for decades to make products seem bigger, to seem like they are better value than the competition.
It is much the same as in adverts for family cars. They always slip in that shot of the kids in the back of the car JUST as they’re talking about the car’s unbelievable leg room … or head clearance … or even boot space! And yeah, looking at a car with a toddler in the back seat will make the car look huge! Put a toddler in the back of a mini and the amount of leg room will look surprising!
Speaking of children in adverts, why do so many of these companies think that showing us babies eating spaghetti (and other messy food) will convince us to buy their shitty product? In my opinion, this is one of the most disgusting sights in all of television. And I’ve seen episodes of “What Katie Did Next” that showed Jordan’s face without make-up.
And adverts for nappies?! Why are they full of naked babies? Who wants to see that … apart from paedophiles, that is? Fully grown adults … kissing naked babies arses? What the hell? Do people actually do that?! If so, what the fuck is wrong with them?! This is a perfect example of something that needs no advertizing! Everyone with a baby already knows that they need them. It’s not even like there are loads of competing brands!
But I digress.
Let’s move on to my next grievance. This technique is fairly new. The “expert testimonial” trick where we are presented with some actor shown with a graphic claiming he’s a doctor or a dentist or an expert in some other area. He then whittles on, answering questions that we haven’t heard, looking off-camera, supposedly talking to the “interviewer” in this fake, scripted bullshit. Who do they think they are fooling?
Adding to the annoyance is the fact that these ads are invariably shot as though the cameraman is suffering from advanced Parkinson’s disease. What, are we supposed to be fooled into thinking it’s a hidden camera? That the whole thing ISN’T fully scripted? Again, they’re fooling no one if that is the case …
And finally, for this post at least, I go back to the practise of these people that write adverts in which problems we didn’t know we had are accenuated in an attempt to make their useless product seem necessary.
“Are you sick of battling your way into fiddly tins of tuna?”
Well, no. I’m not retarded. I can use a can opener.
“Do you have embarassing, dry, cracked heels?”
Again, no. And in whose weird, skewed opinion is a dry heel embarassing?
“Does your dog need a jacket?”
No. It’s a DOG.
“Are you feeding your cat this SPECIAL Cat Milk?”
No. And I Never will.
“Are you feeding your KITTEN this SPECIAL milk that’s totally different to CAT milk!?”
Fuck off!
It really comes to something when these companies have to invent the need for their own products. Does it not strike you that these new items that you apparantly so desperately need are still appearing on the market, a hundred years after the Western World started living in a society that began catering for our every need?
Surely by now, everything we actually do need to live comfortably has already been around for decades?
Surely, if we actually needed a new kind of milk to feed babies that have recently been weaned from breast milk, it would have been available YEARS ago?
And yet, we are still presented with ads that practically accuse us of child abuse if we don’t use the stuff!
If only the general public were intelligent enough to see this practically undisguised, cynical use of fear in advertizing, the ad makers would eventually be forced to engage their brains and earn their wages for once in their pathetic lives.
MisterShouty 