MisterShouty

I think it is a universal truth of the human condition that some days, the universe is just conspiring to ruin your life. Days where stuff is just predetermined to piss you off from the second you wake to the eventual falling into the abyss of unconsciousness via sleep, suicide or horrific car accident.

For me, today is one of those days.

And so, this particular bout of shouting is completely self-indulgent. If you’re not interested in the feeble rantings of one tiny person, yelling into the cosmos, this post won’t be for you!

First off, I woke up to the realization that I fell asleep the last night before finishing off several things I wanted. Yeah, these things can be done tonight and two of them just involve watching the latest episodes of Game Of Thrones and Touch … but still, I fell asleep way earlier than my usual 1am curfew, and in doing so lost 2 or 3 hours of the precious little free time I have these days! And that realization as I woke this morning at 640 just pissed me off.

Striving to defeat the universe’s plan to fuck my day up, I dragged myself out of bed a full 20 minutes before my normal time in order to get the drive to work started early, which in turn would get me a better parking spot at my office. The office at which I work is a pretty big site and arriving late can easily leave you with a 10 to 15 minute walk from car to desk. No massive problem usually, but I have to get away at 12 today in order to attend a training course elsewhere. Hence the early start.

However, the universe won’t stand for that. From the second I pulled out of the layby by my house, the fucktards started RUINING MY LIFE.

Every cunt on the road today was either cutting me up or driving at 15 miles per hour in front of me. It can’t be a coincidence that the day I leave home 20 minutes early, the shit heads on the road all around me slow me down and fuck me up for the entire drive, making the journey EXACTLY 20 minutes longer.

So yes, I end up parked in the middle of a fucking field, 10 minutes away from my desk.

But the hilarity doesn’t stop there!

The course I’m on requires not one, not two, but FOUR separate forms to be completed. And as I’ve been added to the course on a short term basis following a cancellation – at 4pm yesterday – I have exactly zero of them prepared.

But that’s OK, right? I’m in work just after 8. I have 4 hours! Well, yeah that would be fine IF the forms didn’t require signing by managers that don’t bother getting to the office on time … and when they do show up, they disappear into meetings for hours on end. But that’s problem number 2 in this particular bout of my misery. Before they can even be signed, they have to be printed – and as far as I can tell, this hugely successful, multi-million pound, internationally renowned company simply NEVER makes any attempt to ensure that its employees have a working fucking printer in their office.

Well, the way round that slice of Hell is to find a different printer on the network and point my laptop at that instead of the one 6 feet from my desk. That means a good 15 minutes of dicking about trying to find the network ID of the NEXT nearest printer to me, plus a waste of 10 minutes fetching the paperwork from is once it IS actually set up.

So, I’ve lost an hour even before I have the damn forms printed. Now for the signatures, and predictably, the required people are nowhere to be found – right through to 1130 when I need to leave the office for the course.

So after a whole morning of annoyance and stress, I arrive at the course with incomplete paperwork … only for the course runner to take the tiniest of cursory GLANCES at the forms and, without even checking for signatures continue with his fevered ramblings about “the safety measures required for today …” blah blah fucking blah.

Days like this are enough to test the patience of a stoned nun, let alone a miserable cunt like me. And to think that people will be surprised when I eventually snap!

~ by mistershouty on May 22, 2012.

Posted in General Misery, Office